Dear Max,
              For Lent this year, I am giving up dessert. This includes cake, pie, candy, brownies, ice cream, and anything else I enjoy that's sweet. It's tough because I live for dessert, but I know I have the willpower to make it through. All this being said, my sister's birthday is right in the middle of Lent. Should I eat birthday cake (thus breaking my sacrifice) or refuse (and skip out on the celebration)? I feel bad because this happens every year on her birthday. Please help!
Regards,
Sweet-toothed Sandra
 
Dear Sandra,
              This is a great question, and one I've encountered as well. Back in fifth grade, my English teacher's husband worked for a large candy company. They made a batch of candy that came out imperfect but still tasted fine. Our teacher brought it all in (six HUGE boxes) to share over the coming month. Basically, our class received candy every day. However, this happened during Lent. Me and one classmate had both given up candy, and we both missed out. We both stuck with our Lenten promises—despite the mountainous temptation. I don't know what drove us to pass up the once in a lifetime shot at free candy. However, I knew this 'coincidence' happened for a reason, and I knew I could hold out. I passed on candy all Lent, and couldn't help but feel proud of myself. It's hard to break a fast and pretend like it didn't happen, and this is the toughest part of making exceptions. Each one feels like a crack in your armor.
              On the other hand, I have a sibling with a birthday in March, and he dealt with the Lent dilemma every year growing up. People would pass on cake because they had given it up for Lent. I can only imagine how this must have made him feel. I know it would suck to have a birthday where nobody would share in your cake or celebrate with you. So, my Mom wisely came up with a solution: a birthday 'dispensation.' She decided that all Lenten birthdays should be considered exceptions, and we would all celebrate them. What was the result? We looked forward to those days all the more. Imagine that you haven't eaten dessert in 3 weeks and suddenly you are presented with a chance at birthday cake. I'd happily sing for whoever wanted it. So maybe some exceptions are fair game. How do we tell the difference though?
              Knowing if we should make the exception rests somewhere in your own heart. Deep down, are you breaking your fast for your own reasons, or truly for someone else? In the case of my brother, it's fair to say both came into play. I wanted the dessert, but it also gave him people to celebrate with. If I passed, then others might do the same and we would be back to square one. Once I went away for college and wasn't around in March, though, I forced myself to skip the impromptu holiday. I also don't go looking for excuses. If a coworker has a birthday, I don't run to the breakroom just to satisfy my sweet tooth. I want to conclude by reminding you that your Lenten promises are between you and God. If you feel comfortable with your choices, then don't worry about what anyone else says. If you truly don't know which way to go, try praying on it. I'm sure God will give you an answer.
 
Sincerely,
Max