Dear Max,

Hi Max! I work in the secular workplace and am struggling with living my faith while at work. I obviously don't want to go around saying "I'm Catholic..." or "As a Catholic I think/we believe...". How do I live out my Catholic faith without overtly proselytizing? And how should I respond to criticism and misunderstandings of my faith?

Sincerely,

Catholic Professional
 


Dear Catholic Professional,

              Living the faith in public is a tough task, especially as the church’s name is dragged through the mud with the recent abuse scandals brought to light. They are enough to make most people put away the cross and go incognito with their beliefs, or to leave the church behind completely. To make matters worse, Catholics are painted as unkind, uncaring, or even out of touch with their unwavering stance on homosexuality. Basically, it’s not exactly popular to be Catholic right now. So, how do we live out our faith in a world that seems to—at best—tolerate us?

              The good news is that you are not alone in the struggle. I have felt the same uneasiness in displaying my faith, specifically when it comes to saying grace before meals in public. I get nervous and do it quickly, if at all, so as not to be seen. I am literally embarrassed by my faith in these moments, and I still can’t stop myself from still doing it. It’s even worse for me when I am around non-practicing friends. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to impose, or it’s some misguided attempt at politeness, but I completely hide my faith life from my friends. The interesting thing, though, is that my non-religious friends don’t worry about hiding the parts of them that I might find offensive. They will share their hook-up stories, or talk about the “hot chick who just walked in” as though their behavior wouldn’t bother me. I think we can take something from this boldness, and try to emulate it with our faith. It’s not to say that we have to stand on the street corner preaching, but instead we can take little steps: display the crucifix and don’t worry what your neighbor will say. Wear a religious medal, scapular, or rosary bracelet and be ready to discuss it if someone asks. At the risk of not coming across preachy, I allow myself to not discuss my faith at all. At a bachelor party I attended over the summer, a high school friend asked about my scapular and I was completely flustered. I didn’t know what to say because I never talk about my faith. I awkwardly said “It’s a Catholic thing.” and a mutual friend laughed at my curt response. He was right to…it was a weird moment. However, once I settled into the conversation, we ended up chatting about faith for a good 10 minutes. Not only that, be he was shocked to learn that I haven’t stopped going to regular mass since I received my First Communion. He didn’t know that I was truly Catholic because I was so good at hiding it. That’s troublesome to me, to say the least, and something I need to regularly think about.

              The good news in attempting to live your faith publicly is that more people are religious than you might think, and they are generally supportive. There is a long path near my house that runs parallel to a major road, and I enjoy walking it when it gets warm out. In all the times I’ve gone out, I rarely say two words to anyone. Well one time, I went out in a shirt that said “Jesus saves bro!” on it. My older sister bought it for me, and I eagerly wanted to wear it. I was approached 3 separate times by someone commenting on the shirt and how much they loved it. The first time I wore something true to me—a sign of my faith—people had this urge to come up and engage me. They weren’t angry with me for displaying my beliefs, albeit in a comical way. They didn’t grill me with questions in hopes of tripping me up and proving me to be a fool. They simply smiled and said they loved my shirt. I think living our faith is most easily done when we find our way. Some people teach religious ed. Some attend Bible studies and absorb information. I find it easiest with a joke.

              I want to finish by addressing the last part of your question. Occasionally, we are met with people who want to attack or dissect our faith. They debate and argue with us in hopes of either better understanding, or to simply show how “ignorant” those Catholics are. In these situations, I think it’s best to first understand where the person is coming from. If they are looking for true understanding, then this is an easier conversation. You can answer as best you know how, or promise to get back to them on more difficult questions. If they are looking for true understanding, then they won’t mind waiting a day for a response that’s well thought out. We can also point them to more knowledgeable sources (a priest, theologian, or particular book you trust) and go from there. On the other hand, if they are simply trying to push your buttons, then don’t let them. Say what you feel and get out of there, because the conversation will likely quickly dissolve into yelling or mocking. Getting into an argument where one person hopes to destroy the other is a bad idea. Argument and debate are meant to help two people better understand where each is coming from. We should debate others not to win, but to learn their position and communicate our own. Maybe sometimes I can’t help wanting to win, but I should always hope to come out with a better understanding of my opposition than when I started. In the case of someone who wants to mock or embarrass you, debate is unlikely to accomplish anything because all they want is for you to lose. As frustrating as it might be, we are not going to personally convert every person we meet. We might not be the voice they need to hear right now. Thank you for your question, and I hope my response has helped.

Sincerely,

Max